Saturday, February 12, 2011

Super 90's

Lately, my girlfriend and I have spent most of our "free time" watching seasons X-Files and Xena. Also, we've been constantly listening to "90's Alternative" on Pandora. I can only describe the past couple of months as "Super 90's!" Hell, I've even been playing DAGGERFALL in my alone time. I must have fallen into a time warp back to the mid 90's, come back, and am now super nostalgic! I say this because these aren't even things I watched/played/listened to often in the 90's. It's the stuff I feel like I missed out on for being too young. Oh, the digital age... a time when you can experience all the good that the 90's had to offer without actually going through all the crap.

I do have one concern though... I'm afraid that soon I will have a 90's overload. Mainly, I'm afraid it will happen in my sleep. I have a strange feeling I'm going to have a series of dreams involving intensely pixelated dungeon crawls where I have to solve a mystery involving aliens releasing an ancient Greek warrior princess... all to a soundtrack of Everclear, The Offspring, Fuel, Bush, Eve 6, etc.

Who am I kidding? It's gonna be awesome!

Friday, December 3, 2010

New Pocket Watches

The other day, I realized something. I haven't worn a wrist watch in years. The battery went out years ago, and I never got around to replacing it. At first, I blamed it on the usual. "Well, I am pretty lazy"... "I more than likely lost it"... and "I'm never on time anyway"... But then I remembered something. Last time my watch battery died, I had just received my first cell phone. I pretty much swapped out my wrist watch for an old fashioned pocket watch. Hell, most of us have! Next time you're out, look around. You should notice that everyone's "gettin' out der pocket watch" to check the time.

Pocket watches have made a comeback...

Saturday, November 13, 2010

Friday, November 12, 2010

First Time Running D&D - Ten Lessons Learned

I've always understood I was a geek of sorts. I never disliked that side of me, and I actually have learned to embrace it the past few years. I decided that if anyone has any major issues, I can imagine at least 873 ways for them to die grisly deaths... but I digress...

Several months ago, I wrapped up the first D&D campaign I have ever run. It was also my first real experience at D&D (4th Edition) or any table top RPG for that matter. I was very green and made a lot of mistakes. In spite of that, I felt like the campaign went very well... kinda... But mostly, the lessons I learned running it were priceless. Not wanting such glory to go to waste, here is the list of lessons learned from my first Dungeon Mastering attempt:

1. If you constantly give your players moral choices, they will eventually pick bad ones... very bad ones...

2. If you see that giving your players moral choices makes them explode in insulting arguments... STOP GIVING THEM SUCH CHOICES

3. If you state in the beginning, "Don't worry guys, I'll try to make sure you guys don't die!", then at least one player's character will jump head first into every obvious trap like there's delicious jello in the waiting bear trap...

4. If someone says, "If the other 4 team members won't do whatever I wanna do, my character will just leave", LET THEM LEAVE.

5. Your players may try and sneak while carrying a torch...

6. Greed > Valor

7. Nature Loving Human Druid + Pyromaniac Child Dragonborn = Intense Hatred

8. If a player wants to play a mentally challenged halfling warlock, let him. Comic relief is next to godliness when tensions run high.

9. If an NPC warns your characters not to open a door... the door WILL BE opened.

10. Sometimes, a giant neon sign pointing in the right direction will be completely overlooked.

I'm sure there are tons more, and I may update this post when I think of them. Probably not though... sorry.

Monday, November 8, 2010

Letter to My Eyes

Dear Eyes:

Please stop pretending you're so much larger than you are. All because you are actually quite a bit smaller than most of my other organs, doesn't mean you have to get all worked up about it. So what if my stomach is several times larger than you? That does not give you the right to lie about your size and say, "Hey David, I'm big enough to know that you should not only order an appetizer, but you should also buy extra side items for your steak!!"

I appreciate you for trying to help eyes, but my stomach does a very good job telling me what my hunger level is. Whenever I listen to you, I spend double the money necessary and leave with a doggie bag that I'm almost guaranteed to throw away three weeks from now. I don't know what your problem is, but you must stop. I'm poor enough as it is...

Maybe... just maybe you don't have enough self esteem. You do know I count on you guys for a lot, right? If it weren't for you, I wouldn't be able to sit down for 12 hours straight, looking at a computer screen every day. I wouldn't be able to waste gas and drive to the theater to watch a movie that will inevitably let me down and force me to complain about wasting EVEN MORE money. I wouldn't be able to... ummmmm... I know there's something good here. I mean, there are sunsets and such, right? The leaves in the fall are kinda pretty... I dunno eyes, just act your size and we'll all be better off, okay?

Stay Classy,

Sunday, November 7, 2010

Sleep Experiment One: Trickery

Like many alive today, I tend to have sleep issues. Unfortunately, these issues are entirely voluntary. I am horrifically attracted to the allure of late night internet diving and gaming. If I spend my free time in the dark hours of the morning, no one's awake to call in favors or ask me to run any errands for them. It really is the perfect time to have absolutely nothing to do... my favorite thing to do...

But! Our world has yet to follow my superior views... thus I am forced to wake up early each morning. For every hour I decide to live it up, giving myself a reason to force myself through the drab days, I get knocked down another peg on the "Sleep or Die" table.

After years of this, I finally became sickened at the idea of waking up each day feeling more like a piece of zombie toast than a self-respecting human being. I decided changes must be made!

So, I decided to sit down and make a compromise with myself... no matter how long it would take. And, six minutes later, I came up with a plan... a plan I thought had no chance to fail. I couldn't decide on going to sleep early and missing out on the magical time of each day when responsibility sleeps. No, no! I had a "better" plan! I was going to trick myself into thinking I was getting more sleep! How could it fail? (Hint: See Below/Use Common Sense). My "Nobel Prize Winning" idea included staying up as late as I wanted and then following a few easy steps.

1. Get completely comfortable in the bed.

2. Close eyes to block out all light.

3. Tell yourself you are getting way more sleep than you are actually getting.

Yes, I planned on tricking my unconscious self into thinking it was getting more sleep than it logically was. How was I going to do this? I almost hate you for asking...

After completing steps one and two, I would then lie perfectly still. In my mind, I would imagine myself inside an escape pod on a space ship. I imagined the pod was just barely large enough for me to roll over and get comfortable so that I could feel more "cozy" and "safe". Then, the pod would be launched into space, and that's where the real fun began. I would then imagine that I was going to end up floating in space for HUNDREDS OF YEARS until I could be rescued. Thus, I would cryogenically freeze myself so I could sleep for these hundreds (sometimes thousands if I was REALLY tired) of years.

That was it, that's all I would do. I basically just told myself a bedtime story before I went to sleep. Now... did it work?

No. No it did not...

I started doing this six years ago... and I still do it today. I'm waiting for some magical enchantment to bless my regimen and have it randomly start working. But, until that day, I will continue to live each day for the late nights and pay my price in the morning... lurching around like I would rather every living thing be dead.
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